boys...still complicated, a little more involved now

well its been a while, i can hardly believe i haven't written for 2 months! to my credit, i have been busy, working full time before uni starts... so the guy that i totally didnt want a relationship is-of course-still in the picture, as my boyfriend. i have no clue why that happened but i like the way things are. i feel comfortable with him, although there are things i dont like about him-i suppose that comes with the territory. i never thought i would be interested in anyone like him, but hings change. valentines day is on saturday. its my first valentines day with a boyfriend, so h is under a bit of pressure. not that he knows about the pressure... i reminded him last week and i havent said anything about it since, so im hoping he remembers. if he doesnt-well lets just say hes in big trouble!! i know its just a silly day, but he never does anything romantic for me, so i really want him to make an effort. is that too much to ask? effort doesnt have to cost any money. its so hard to read boys, i honestly have no clue what he thinks. sometimes i think that we're just hanging by a thread, and if i do something wrong or act too clingy he'll just drop me. 

and another thing.. i I HAVEN'T MET HIS FRIENDS. ive met all his family, but none of his friends. i'll admit, im a little pissed about it. i bring the subject up every now and then (ok twice) but he just says that he wants to get away from them because he wants to stop doing drugs. he says im his outlet, i havent MET his friends but i hear all about them. im a little confused. is he embarrassed of me?? why wont he let me meet them? should i be worried??? comments welcome!!! 

BOYS!!!! why does it have to be so complicated!!??

I don't even know why i'm pissed off but i am!! i somehow acquired this new friend with benefits-so we r sleeping together but aren't technically in a relationship....it was working but he kinda wants 2 b in a relationship and i kinda don't. its so complicated cos now i'm starting to have feelings for him. and that only leads to more complications because the people i care about generally see my absolute worst side!! he's away in cairns at the moment and i'm totally pissed off at him for some unknown reason. GRRR. i think i'm more annoyed at myself then at him. and i probably just miss him. i cant see myself ever figuring out this whole relationship thing.

Hairbrush

This is a cute little hairbrush... it has a rabbit on the handle and when u shake it it has a bell inside it. when i was a little kid (like 4 or 5) we had a next door neighbour called uncle harry. and he always used to give me and my brothers presents, he was reallyt nice! i remember him really well...and he gave me this hairbrush. he died when i was about 6 which was really sad. he was like a grandfather. his wife still lives next door to my family, she's getting quite old actually, and dies her hair various shades of purple. why i have no idea. it's like on old lady trend. i have no clue where it came from...i hope that when i'm a cute old lady i wont die my hair purple.

Joke

I'm not sure why this is in the box.. i think its there cos it represents my sense of humor. if u cant read the caption it says "pulling a face". ha!! i still find it funny. i got it from (randomly) my year 10 work experience in speech pathology. it also reminds me of my friends...they have really terrible senses of humor and they'll make a joke out of anything. i love them! they have a 'dad' sense of humor...its pretty funny so yeah...anyway...

bottle cap

This is a random thing to keep. i know. this is the cap off the first beer i ever drank. and its not even real beer!! its light beer! ahh good times. ive never been much of a drinker. i've never been drunk. i like wine. i like champagne. i HATE beer. i pretended to like it for a little while, but yeah, i hate it. i find it really sad how people expect guys to like beer. i live in australia, and i guess its the same everywhere, but guys drink beer-its like expected. and heaps of guys drink it UNTIL they like it. strange. once i was drinking white wine, and it was really fruity tasting so i drank like 2 and 1/2 glasses (which for someone who doesnt drink makes your head spin!) it was the strangest feeling. i just got really quiet (my friends were there) so they wouldnt notice, but yeah it felt really strange. 

high school photo

i kept my high school photo. u kinda have to. its one of those essential memories i guess. i went to a really small private christian school. i loved it. it was all i really knew, i did kindergarten to year 12 in that school. yup, small town girl-same school and same house for my entire childhood. it was great. i'm not really a fan of change. i really dont miss school though. school is where i lived out those awkward years. puberty, adolescence, whatever u want to call it, everyone has that growing up stage. where u u dont really fit in and all parts of your body start growing at different rates. u get pimples u get underarm hair (and other places) and u get breasts. boys suddenly become the centre of your life and being popular is everything. i guess i didn't like growing up because it involved a lot of change. I HATE CHANGE. it unnerves me. i fell in love in high school and never really got over it, in fact i still feel exactly the same about one stupid guy! it's been about 4 years and i'm still no where near getting over him. but at the same time i don't really want to get over him. the truth is i love him. and i dont care if he never knows..actually thats a lie. i'd want him to know after i died. then i would never have to face him. ANYWAY it doesnt really matter. i will get over it eventually. i just hope it doesn't wreck future relationships-its what broke me and my boyfriend up earlier this year...how do you get over someone if you don't want to???

cloth

This piece of cloth takes up HEAPS of room in my box. its crazy but i love it. i got it in thailand about 4 years ago when i went on a mission trip there. These beautiful ladies in the hill tribes weave these with these tricky loom things. it was so amazing to watch, and i know it doesnt look that special in the photo-but to know that it was handmade...well its just so cool! Being in the hill tribes was such an amazing experience for me. it was first time out of australia for a start, but the culture shock was huge! They actually killed a chicken for us for dinner, and plucked it like right outside our window! my vegetarian friend freaked out! In keeping with tradition technically i can't wear this cloth till im married. so it's tucked away in my box, and then when i eventually get married i can make it into a skirt and wear it. Traditionally the unmarried women wear white. i guess it is important to me because it represents a world that is totally different than my own. over there the girls get married at like 13-14 years of age! crazy. its just so different and so simple. oh yeah, and the babies don't wear nappies.